Unexpected Crush

This is in response to Tyler Shotwell's blogpost "Unrequited Love" and his desire to have more Kandace on a daily basis.

So...

Unrequited love.

Love that is not openly reciprocated.

I really enjoyed Tyler's post on this topic until I realized...unrequited love SUCKS!

"I choose to focus my mind on someone or something that I know will not return my love. I do this because it's fun. I do this because it's safe." -Tyler

I do the same thing. And he's right. It's great! But when it turns sour is when I start thinking I have a chance. Then I get myself into trouble which eventually leads to heartbreak.

Would you like an example? Ok. I'll share one.

This semester was going perfect. It's my last semester. No boys to worry about, right? There is no possible chance of marriage. No one is going to like me. They never do. No worries. And I was still recovering from my last burn. I was DONE with men at BYU-Idaho!

And then one day in class, around midterms, this guy starting talking to me. Each day of class the talking continued. And I was foolish enough to think "Hey, I think he might like me."

But I did not let myself hope. I told myself that it was improbable and pretty much impossible for anything to happen. I'm graduating, right? Seven weeks baby!

And then something happened. We had a moment of embarrassment. And I thought, "Our feelings are mutual."

Then I did the dumbest thing ever. I told my roommates!

I've realized the moment I express my interest for someone out loud, it all of a sudden becomes a reality. And that reality is hard to back-track out of.

After I realized I was past the point of no return, I decided to go forward with my interest. I started rationalizing. NOTE TO SELF: Rationalization is never good. I started telling myself Blackfoot is only an hour from Rexburg. I can go to Rexburg sometimes. He can meet me in I.F. other times. No big deal. We could make it work. The fact that I'm graduating is a small, insignificant detail. Ha! Yeah, right.

It's now the end of the semester. Things are the same as they were during midterms. Nothing has changed. No dates, no chocolate, no candies, no movies... nuttin! :)

Some of you may say that maybe he just didn't have the guts to ask me out. I highly doubt it. And if that's true, that's so lame!

Tell me.

Do I repulse your soul?

Do I send vibes that I'm going to eat you alive?

I really don't think I'm that scary.

Honestly. If you love me, you won't ever fail because I won't let you.
Before this lovely rambling of mine ends, I feel I should make a disclaimer that I'm not head over heels for this guy. It's basically just slightly more than a baby crush.

I'm sure I'll recover soon. Real soon.

Just give me chocolate.

P.S. I felt like I should add this video.