Jonathon and I are both very adament about staying out of debt and we never want to go into debt if we can help it. The decision for me to go to graduate school this year was a difficult decision to make financially. Graduate education does not qualify for any kind of grants, and academic tuition scholarships aren't given out like they are at BYU-Idaho (which got me through my undergrad debt-free). However, Jonathon & I both felt like it was the right decision, so we decided to move forward with faith.
After the honeymoon, Jonathon had a very difficult time finding a job. We went 6 weeks before he found the current temp job he's at now. That was a very trying time for us emotionally. We were able to make ends meet just fine with my job, but we didn't have much left over to put into savings, and we knew once the school year started and I wasn't working full time, we would really be scrimping. On top of that, Jonathon felt bad because he wasn't doing anything productive to support us financially and he felt like he was failing in his duties as the provider and head of our family.
Thankfully, Jonathon was able to find a job! And the hours fit perfectly with our needs, due to only having one car. It hasn't been easy getting up at 5:30 every day and getting home a little before 5. It's actually been really tiring. But we can't complain too much :) Jonathon makes almost as much as I do, and we decided to put his paychecks straight into savings. The amount has almost doubled since we got married.
A couple weeks ago, I had a really hard time falling asleep because I just couldn't stop thinking about our finances. I knew we would make it through this school year just fine, but after that it was hard to tell. What if we weren't able to work next summer, or didn't make enough money, or didn't have enough money in savings to get through the next year? My mind kept going through all these different scenarios and worries.
Today I paid off my tuition balance. I received a scholarship from the English department that was bigger than I expected, so tuition wasn't as much. Jonathon has a full-tuition scholarship so we're good there. And he's getting a pell grant that will more than cover our housing needs. On top of that, my graduate instructorship position would cover my tuition and housing (if we didn't already have those other sources to provide). And my second job at scheduling provides enough to live off of.
As I balanced the checkbook and realized all of these added sources of income (scholarships, a grant, jobs), I was filled with an overwhelming gratitude. The Lord is watching out for us. He is aware of our needs and He is providing for them. We definitely have to be diligent in doing what we need to do (living the commandments, paying tithes and fast offerings, and living resourcefully/within our means), but He will take care of the rest. He will help us through. He knows the desires of our hearts, and if they are righteous desires, He is going to make them come to pass.
As a caveat, if you are struggling financially, I am not implying that you are not keeping the commandments or living your life the way God wants you to. Some people endure financial struggles when they are doing everything right. It's just a part of life. But God is still there and is still watching out for you. He blesses each of us in so many ways, and sometimes I loose sight of that.
I am so grateful for His hand in my life and where I have been led to up to this point. Everything is going to work out perfectly, like it always has. And for that, I feel so incredibly blessed.
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Monday, August 5, 2013
Life as Mrs. Wheelwright
I haven't even been married 3 months and my husband has already almost killed himself. Ok, not really. But he did shoot himself in the knee last week with a nail gun, and I've been walking around with Mr. Gimpy for the last few days ;) He's ok though. The doctor said the nail didn't hit bone, so we are grateful for that!
I thought the adjustment from Kandace Hansen to Kandace Wheelwright would be a very difficult change for me to deal with. I never practiced writing "Wheelwright" before I got married because I felt like it was blasphemy against the Hansen name. The days leading up to my marriage, I tried to persuade my dear fiancé to change his name to Hansen instead, for Jonathon Hansen sounds so much more appealing than Kandace Wheelwright. He refused it for some reason though...
The day we got married was weird. I was not a Wheelwright, I was just married to one! However, a week after being home from the honeymoon, Kandace Hansen seemed so foreign to me. Yet, Kandace Wheelwright didn't feel right either. I was in limbo land, going through the process of changing my name at a million different institutions.
Once the name was officially changed, it seemed a lot easier to accept myself as that person. I never struggled with signing my name, as some women seem to do. Writing "Wheelwright" in cursive at the bottom of my checks seems so natural now and fun to write. I really enjoy all the little swirls I get to do.
So, now that you've read that boring saga about my name change, let's move on to actual life as a married woman.
I work 7-3 Monday thru Friday, and Jonathon works 6-4:30 Monday thru Thursday. We only have one car, so we get up about 5:15 every morning, we take him to work, and then I go to my workplace and chill for about an hour before I start (I usually take a nap). After I get done with work, I chill at my work some more until it is time to pick Jonathon up. By the time we get home, we've already been up for 11.5 hours. That makes for a long day in and of itself and we are both usually ready to crash and relax. If not watching a movie, we can be found watching either Family Feud or Pawn Stars (though occasionally we'll watch something else on GSN). Before bedtime, we usually read a chapter of Harry Potter together, which has lead to many funny moments. For example:
Jonathon was going off on this big long tangent about why and how Ginny was so perfect for Harry Potter. I like to rock the boat a bit, so I asked some questions to which he retorted answers on Ginny's behalf. He was defensive and almost admirable of Ginny that I finally asked "Jonathon, do you love Ginny?" Emphatically, he answered, "NO! I love Harry Potter!" *Awkward pause* "Uh...the books, I mean. I love the books!" Uh huh. Nice recovery.
We are almost done with the second book. I can't wait to start the third!
Weekends are a bit more exciting than the week days. We usually go out to eat once a week along with some other activity. We've gone to Seven Peaks a couple times, a local production of The Sound of Music, mini-golfing and laser tag, and we're going to see The Scarlet Pimpernel this weekend. I'm so excited!! It's my favorite play, and after making Jonathon watch the movie, I think I've convinced him to love it almost as much as I do :)
I have also had quite the effect on Jonathon's wardrobe. Before he met me, he had 2 name-brand shirts, both from Aero. On Saturday we went shopping for shoes and jeans for Jonathon, and he realized that now all of his clothes are name-brand. Earlier this year, I introduced Jonathon to the wonder of AE jeans, and he fell in love. Well, in going to get more jeans, I convinced him to stop at AE before checking out JC Penney. We found a killer deal! All jeans were $30, which was amazing since they usually run from $44.95-49.95. That deal was so great, we had to get 2 pairs :) Jonathon has learned that name-brand clothes look 10x better and fit 100x better. I think he thanked me about 5 times that day for making him buy name-brand clothes and teaching him the art of shopping for them on clearance. He now has shirts from Aero, AE, Express, and Macy's, along with a very nice lamb-leather jacket. Jonathon has also learned that more expensive shoes last longer and are more comfortable. I almost feel guilty for introducing him to this new way of life, but dang! My man looks good! ;)
That's all for now. Sorry this post is so random, but this is what we've been up to since our return from the honeymoon.
I thought the adjustment from Kandace Hansen to Kandace Wheelwright would be a very difficult change for me to deal with. I never practiced writing "Wheelwright" before I got married because I felt like it was blasphemy against the Hansen name. The days leading up to my marriage, I tried to persuade my dear fiancé to change his name to Hansen instead, for Jonathon Hansen sounds so much more appealing than Kandace Wheelwright. He refused it for some reason though...
The day we got married was weird. I was not a Wheelwright, I was just married to one! However, a week after being home from the honeymoon, Kandace Hansen seemed so foreign to me. Yet, Kandace Wheelwright didn't feel right either. I was in limbo land, going through the process of changing my name at a million different institutions.
Once the name was officially changed, it seemed a lot easier to accept myself as that person. I never struggled with signing my name, as some women seem to do. Writing "Wheelwright" in cursive at the bottom of my checks seems so natural now and fun to write. I really enjoy all the little swirls I get to do.
So, now that you've read that boring saga about my name change, let's move on to actual life as a married woman.
I work 7-3 Monday thru Friday, and Jonathon works 6-4:30 Monday thru Thursday. We only have one car, so we get up about 5:15 every morning, we take him to work, and then I go to my workplace and chill for about an hour before I start (I usually take a nap). After I get done with work, I chill at my work some more until it is time to pick Jonathon up. By the time we get home, we've already been up for 11.5 hours. That makes for a long day in and of itself and we are both usually ready to crash and relax. If not watching a movie, we can be found watching either Family Feud or Pawn Stars (though occasionally we'll watch something else on GSN). Before bedtime, we usually read a chapter of Harry Potter together, which has lead to many funny moments. For example:
Jonathon was going off on this big long tangent about why and how Ginny was so perfect for Harry Potter. I like to rock the boat a bit, so I asked some questions to which he retorted answers on Ginny's behalf. He was defensive and almost admirable of Ginny that I finally asked "Jonathon, do you love Ginny?" Emphatically, he answered, "NO! I love Harry Potter!" *Awkward pause* "Uh...the books, I mean. I love the books!" Uh huh. Nice recovery.
We are almost done with the second book. I can't wait to start the third!
Weekends are a bit more exciting than the week days. We usually go out to eat once a week along with some other activity. We've gone to Seven Peaks a couple times, a local production of The Sound of Music, mini-golfing and laser tag, and we're going to see The Scarlet Pimpernel this weekend. I'm so excited!! It's my favorite play, and after making Jonathon watch the movie, I think I've convinced him to love it almost as much as I do :)
I have also had quite the effect on Jonathon's wardrobe. Before he met me, he had 2 name-brand shirts, both from Aero. On Saturday we went shopping for shoes and jeans for Jonathon, and he realized that now all of his clothes are name-brand. Earlier this year, I introduced Jonathon to the wonder of AE jeans, and he fell in love. Well, in going to get more jeans, I convinced him to stop at AE before checking out JC Penney. We found a killer deal! All jeans were $30, which was amazing since they usually run from $44.95-49.95. That deal was so great, we had to get 2 pairs :) Jonathon has learned that name-brand clothes look 10x better and fit 100x better. I think he thanked me about 5 times that day for making him buy name-brand clothes and teaching him the art of shopping for them on clearance. He now has shirts from Aero, AE, Express, and Macy's, along with a very nice lamb-leather jacket. Jonathon has also learned that more expensive shoes last longer and are more comfortable. I almost feel guilty for introducing him to this new way of life, but dang! My man looks good! ;)
That's all for now. Sorry this post is so random, but this is what we've been up to since our return from the honeymoon.
Thursday, July 11, 2013
You Don't Have to Be Friends
I suppose it's about time I return to the blogging world. I've thought about posting about my wedding/honeymoon, but I don't think anyone really cares expect for Jonathon and me, so I won't bother with it.
This is a topic that's been on my mind for quite some time. If it offends you, I'm sorry. That's life.
I think a majority of people have this compulsive need to please everybody, or at least be on good terms with the people they come in contact with in their lives. I used to be in denial about this, and I thought I couldn't care less about what people thought of me. And then I got married.
You see, in high school I went through a string of "best friends." From my sophomore year on, I had a group of friends, but no one who I really felt connected to, or who I thought really cared about me. I tried to please my group of friends, but I wasn't about to change who I was in order to conform to their tastes on how a "best friend" should act. For those who know me, I tell it to you straight up, exactly how I see it. I don't "fluff" you up unless I think you really deserve it. I'm not FAKE. And I think that rubbed some people the wrong way.
I always thought something was wrong with me because no one seemed to genuinely like me, or treat me in the way that I thought friends should like and treat each other. I'm not going to go into all the details, because then this will seem to turn into a bitter tangent...which it's not :)
Then this beautiful thing happened. I went to college. I made true friends, the friends I dreamed of having my entire life. I couldn't be happier! Suddenly, I didn't feel alone anymore. I pretty much dropped those high school friends like a ton of bricks, but I still went to most of the activities they invited me to.
Fast forward a few years. I've been graduated from college for almost 2 years. I get married. EVERY SINGLE college friend I invited to my wedding came to my reception (except for the ones that physically couldn't due to missions/living in other states/etc, and even friends in different states came.) Yet not one of my high school group of friends came.
That's ok. I'm fine if they couldn't make it or whatever. But not even one of them wished me congratulations or showed me support in the least bit. I'd be lying if I said that didn't upset me at all. I expected some not to show up or care, but others I thought we still had a thread of friendship left.
As a side note, I did have one high school friend not in that group of people who, even though we haven't spoken in 4 years (because she got married and our lives diverged), came to my bridal shower AND reception. Shout out to Whitney for her awesomeness :)
So you are probably wondering, Kandace, what is the point of this tangent? Don't worry, I am getting there.
About a month after I got married, I got a phone call asking if I would be home for the weekend and inviting me to play ultimate frisbee with that group of people from high school.
Oh, I see. You only want to be friends with me when it's convenient for you. You can't come to my wedding or to any events I invite you to, but when you want numbers for caroling or games, you call me up. Yeah, that's cool.
So, after that phone call and many frustration vents to my husband, all that guilt I'd been having over the years at trying to be friends with these people but not really succeeding dissipated. I finally realized, I DON'T HAVE TO BE FRIENDS WITH YOU! Yes, I need to treat you with courtesy, respect, and kindness, but we don't have to be friends. I don't have to go to anymore activities. I don't have to feel obligated to make a special effort. Because you know what? True friends reciprocate. And that's how it should be.
I also got thinking about this at work. I absolutely LOVE all the girls I work with. But for one reason or another, we just don't click the same way I do with Allison or Cherise or Whitney or Krista or whoever. And that's ok! I don't have to be BFF's with everybody. And neither do you.
Christ teaches us to love everyone and treat them accordingly. But it's ok to cut some people off when they abuse a relationship or are unhealthy for you. Friendship is a two-way street and requires effort on both parts, not just when it's convenient.
Finally, I feel free :)
Wish I'd realized this a few years ago.
This is a topic that's been on my mind for quite some time. If it offends you, I'm sorry. That's life.
I think a majority of people have this compulsive need to please everybody, or at least be on good terms with the people they come in contact with in their lives. I used to be in denial about this, and I thought I couldn't care less about what people thought of me. And then I got married.
You see, in high school I went through a string of "best friends." From my sophomore year on, I had a group of friends, but no one who I really felt connected to, or who I thought really cared about me. I tried to please my group of friends, but I wasn't about to change who I was in order to conform to their tastes on how a "best friend" should act. For those who know me, I tell it to you straight up, exactly how I see it. I don't "fluff" you up unless I think you really deserve it. I'm not FAKE. And I think that rubbed some people the wrong way.
I always thought something was wrong with me because no one seemed to genuinely like me, or treat me in the way that I thought friends should like and treat each other. I'm not going to go into all the details, because then this will seem to turn into a bitter tangent...which it's not :)
Then this beautiful thing happened. I went to college. I made true friends, the friends I dreamed of having my entire life. I couldn't be happier! Suddenly, I didn't feel alone anymore. I pretty much dropped those high school friends like a ton of bricks, but I still went to most of the activities they invited me to.
Fast forward a few years. I've been graduated from college for almost 2 years. I get married. EVERY SINGLE college friend I invited to my wedding came to my reception (except for the ones that physically couldn't due to missions/living in other states/etc, and even friends in different states came.) Yet not one of my high school group of friends came.
That's ok. I'm fine if they couldn't make it or whatever. But not even one of them wished me congratulations or showed me support in the least bit. I'd be lying if I said that didn't upset me at all. I expected some not to show up or care, but others I thought we still had a thread of friendship left.
As a side note, I did have one high school friend not in that group of people who, even though we haven't spoken in 4 years (because she got married and our lives diverged), came to my bridal shower AND reception. Shout out to Whitney for her awesomeness :)
So you are probably wondering, Kandace, what is the point of this tangent? Don't worry, I am getting there.
About a month after I got married, I got a phone call asking if I would be home for the weekend and inviting me to play ultimate frisbee with that group of people from high school.
Oh, I see. You only want to be friends with me when it's convenient for you. You can't come to my wedding or to any events I invite you to, but when you want numbers for caroling or games, you call me up. Yeah, that's cool.
So, after that phone call and many frustration vents to my husband, all that guilt I'd been having over the years at trying to be friends with these people but not really succeeding dissipated. I finally realized, I DON'T HAVE TO BE FRIENDS WITH YOU! Yes, I need to treat you with courtesy, respect, and kindness, but we don't have to be friends. I don't have to go to anymore activities. I don't have to feel obligated to make a special effort. Because you know what? True friends reciprocate. And that's how it should be.
I also got thinking about this at work. I absolutely LOVE all the girls I work with. But for one reason or another, we just don't click the same way I do with Allison or Cherise or Whitney or Krista or whoever. And that's ok! I don't have to be BFF's with everybody. And neither do you.
Christ teaches us to love everyone and treat them accordingly. But it's ok to cut some people off when they abuse a relationship or are unhealthy for you. Friendship is a two-way street and requires effort on both parts, not just when it's convenient.
Finally, I feel free :)
Wish I'd realized this a few years ago.
Thursday, April 18, 2013
He Knows Best
If you asked me a year ago where I thought I would be in a year, the answer would not even come close to resembling what my life is really like.
A year ago, I thought I was heading off to Utah State to tackle my first year of graduate school. I thought I would immerse myself in the field of social activities, and if I was really lucky, I might manage to hold down a guy for a few months. My career was my focus and I was fully prepared for the challenges that awaited me in Logan. But God had something else in store for my life.
This post isn't meant to brag about how wonderful or amazing my life is. Rather, it's my mere amazement at the fact that God really does care and watch over us, and His plan for us is much, much greater than the one we could ever create for ourselves.
I started to see the plan unfold last June. By that time, Jonathon and I knew each and we'd gone on a couple of dates, but nothing serious. We were just really good friends. However, I had a heck of a time trying to find housing in Logan. It seemed like every time I came close to finding a good place to live, it fell through. Finally, the thought came that maybe I wasn't supposed to move to Logan. Being the stubborn person that I am, I brushed it aside and continued on my search.
Two days after finding housing and amazing roommates in Logan, I made the decision not to attend Utah State. If you remember my earlier post, that was probably the hardest decision I ever made up to this point in my life. I felt like I lost my long sought-after dream, and I didn't know why. But I decided to move forward and not look back with thoughts of regret. And I didn't.
Within a couple of days of searching for housing in Provo, I found multiple places that would have worked well. The one I chose ended up being 1.5 blocks from Jonathon. I know that wasn't a coincidence.
I moved to Provo scared and with no idea what I was going to do with my life. I planned another attempt at BYU's program, but this time I wasn't so confident in my abilities and doubted I'd get accepted. But I worked as hard as I could regardless. And it came with many, many challenges. The prerequisite I took was harder than any other class I've ever taken in my life. It was a miracle I got an A!
It took me about a month in Utah before I found a job. The move to Provo and the tuition for my pre-req class at BYU pretty much sapped up all of my savings, so I was getting desperate to find ANY job. As I was driving home one day from an interview, I remember feeling an incredible peace that I had made the right decision. I felt so blessed because 3 of my siblings were within a 10 minute drive from my apartment. Although the move to Provo created a lot of fear and loneliness, I felt so lucky to be so close to my family. It was one of the main reasons I wanted to attend BYU in the first place.
After many fruitless jobs interviews and frustrating days, I found the perfect job! All the jobs I had previously applied for were part-time positions because my class fell at an odd time of the day that wasn't conducive to most full-time business hours. However, the job I ended up getting was full-time AND incredibly flexible with my schedule! It also paid better than any of the other jobs I applied for. It was a perfect fit, and the month of frustration was well worth the wait! I knew God was watching over me, and by getting that job, he allowed me to get more than I was expecting.
In December, I got engaged to my best friend. I've already talked loads about that, but I seriously never thought I would get engaged that early. It was most definitely unexpected! And then the end of February I received the exciting news that I had been accepted to BYU!! I was so shocked. I didn't think I'd get in.
So, all of these things separately don't add up to much, but when you put them together, you can see how the Lord has gently guided my life to a place more spectacular and magnificent than I ever thought possible! If I would have had been stubborn and not accepted the Lord's hand in trying to guide me on the path He wanted for me, I would be in Logan doing who knows what. But instead, I get ALL of my dreams. I get to attend BYU (which I really, really wanted). I get to live close to my family. And I get to marry my best friend in 3 short weeks.
I am SO blessed and SO grateful for Lord's guidance in my life. This past year has been a HUGE testimony that He cares! He loves us. He knows what He's doing. So we just need to have faith. Have faith and be patient, and everything will work out. It doesn't always work out how we want. But in the end, it works out so much sweeter than we ever could have imagined. And for that, I am grateful :)
A year ago, I thought I was heading off to Utah State to tackle my first year of graduate school. I thought I would immerse myself in the field of social activities, and if I was really lucky, I might manage to hold down a guy for a few months. My career was my focus and I was fully prepared for the challenges that awaited me in Logan. But God had something else in store for my life.
This post isn't meant to brag about how wonderful or amazing my life is. Rather, it's my mere amazement at the fact that God really does care and watch over us, and His plan for us is much, much greater than the one we could ever create for ourselves.
I started to see the plan unfold last June. By that time, Jonathon and I knew each and we'd gone on a couple of dates, but nothing serious. We were just really good friends. However, I had a heck of a time trying to find housing in Logan. It seemed like every time I came close to finding a good place to live, it fell through. Finally, the thought came that maybe I wasn't supposed to move to Logan. Being the stubborn person that I am, I brushed it aside and continued on my search.
Two days after finding housing and amazing roommates in Logan, I made the decision not to attend Utah State. If you remember my earlier post, that was probably the hardest decision I ever made up to this point in my life. I felt like I lost my long sought-after dream, and I didn't know why. But I decided to move forward and not look back with thoughts of regret. And I didn't.
Within a couple of days of searching for housing in Provo, I found multiple places that would have worked well. The one I chose ended up being 1.5 blocks from Jonathon. I know that wasn't a coincidence.
I moved to Provo scared and with no idea what I was going to do with my life. I planned another attempt at BYU's program, but this time I wasn't so confident in my abilities and doubted I'd get accepted. But I worked as hard as I could regardless. And it came with many, many challenges. The prerequisite I took was harder than any other class I've ever taken in my life. It was a miracle I got an A!
It took me about a month in Utah before I found a job. The move to Provo and the tuition for my pre-req class at BYU pretty much sapped up all of my savings, so I was getting desperate to find ANY job. As I was driving home one day from an interview, I remember feeling an incredible peace that I had made the right decision. I felt so blessed because 3 of my siblings were within a 10 minute drive from my apartment. Although the move to Provo created a lot of fear and loneliness, I felt so lucky to be so close to my family. It was one of the main reasons I wanted to attend BYU in the first place.
After many fruitless jobs interviews and frustrating days, I found the perfect job! All the jobs I had previously applied for were part-time positions because my class fell at an odd time of the day that wasn't conducive to most full-time business hours. However, the job I ended up getting was full-time AND incredibly flexible with my schedule! It also paid better than any of the other jobs I applied for. It was a perfect fit, and the month of frustration was well worth the wait! I knew God was watching over me, and by getting that job, he allowed me to get more than I was expecting.
In December, I got engaged to my best friend. I've already talked loads about that, but I seriously never thought I would get engaged that early. It was most definitely unexpected! And then the end of February I received the exciting news that I had been accepted to BYU!! I was so shocked. I didn't think I'd get in.
So, all of these things separately don't add up to much, but when you put them together, you can see how the Lord has gently guided my life to a place more spectacular and magnificent than I ever thought possible! If I would have had been stubborn and not accepted the Lord's hand in trying to guide me on the path He wanted for me, I would be in Logan doing who knows what. But instead, I get ALL of my dreams. I get to attend BYU (which I really, really wanted). I get to live close to my family. And I get to marry my best friend in 3 short weeks.
I am SO blessed and SO grateful for Lord's guidance in my life. This past year has been a HUGE testimony that He cares! He loves us. He knows what He's doing. So we just need to have faith. Have faith and be patient, and everything will work out. It doesn't always work out how we want. But in the end, it works out so much sweeter than we ever could have imagined. And for that, I am grateful :)
Friday, March 15, 2013
Once Upon a Time
I am an avid viewer of the TV show "Once Upon a Time." The more I watch it, the more I realize how it portrays our beloved fairy tale stories more realistically. It recounts all these fairy tales...with a twist. And that is how life truly is. It always has a twist. No one truly rides off into the sunset with their Prince, leaving behind all other cares in the world. Life isn't like that. It has it's ups and downs.
This scene shows one of the most joyous moments, followed closely by one of the most heart-wrenching moments, of the series.
And that is how my life has been as of late. I feel so euphoric one moment, and like someone is crushing my heart into dust the next moment.
Overall, the happy moments by far win over. I know Snow White & Prince Charming will defeat the Evil Queen Regina. But downfalls must occur before they get to that point. And that can be discouraging.
I look forward to the day when my Once Upon a Time...ends in my Happily Ever After.
I know it will be a while. I know I will have many heart-crushing moments in between. But it will come. It has to come.
I know this post seems very cryptic, and I'm sorry. I guess I'm just mainly writing to say, my life isn't perfect. Although I have some really exciting things occurring, I still have my struggles.
And that's all.
P.S. I got into BYU's English Master's program. More to come on that subject.
This scene shows one of the most joyous moments, followed closely by one of the most heart-wrenching moments, of the series.
And that is how my life has been as of late. I feel so euphoric one moment, and like someone is crushing my heart into dust the next moment.
Overall, the happy moments by far win over. I know Snow White & Prince Charming will defeat the Evil Queen Regina. But downfalls must occur before they get to that point. And that can be discouraging.
I look forward to the day when my Once Upon a Time...ends in my Happily Ever After.
I know it will be a while. I know I will have many heart-crushing moments in between. But it will come. It has to come.
I know this post seems very cryptic, and I'm sorry. I guess I'm just mainly writing to say, my life isn't perfect. Although I have some really exciting things occurring, I still have my struggles.
And that's all.
P.S. I got into BYU's English Master's program. More to come on that subject.
Monday, January 28, 2013
Our Story
This is the post everyone has been waiting for. And if you haven't, I don't care. It's good to have a record and not forget some of the things that happened. But incase you haven't figured it out yet, this is the story of how Jonathon & I came to be.
Let me first preface this by saying that in my post about my brother's wedding last June, I made a vague mention of Jonathon: "Another thing has happened too, but I don't think this blog post is the appropriate way to declare the news." At that time, Jonathon asked me if I was going to write a post about how we met & started dating & yada yada yada. I told him no, that would come at a later time. He asked how much later. I said much, much later. And then it hit him. "Oh. You mean you'll write it if we get engaged?" Precisely. Little did I know that that "later" would be a short six months away. So here you go, Jonathon. Here's our story for the world to know :)
I met Jonathon the end of April, my first week working in the deli at Kesler's. He had been home from his mission approx. 2 weeks. I remember seeing him come into the store & meeting with Mckay. We had a bit a dilemma at that time because another worker unexpectedly quit so we knew Mckay was trying to find someone in a bit of a hurry. Jonathon came out of the meeting with Mckay with a big smile on his face. I had no idea that he had worked at Kesler's before his mission. The only thing I knew was that I thought he was very cute, and I hoped he was an RM, not a premie. I could never tell :)
A couple days later Jonathon started working. Kesler's hired another boy around the same time. I heard through the grapevine that one of them "worked there before his mission." I just had to figure out which one that was, since they both looked like they were 17. Jonathon was that guy, and I was so happy!! I could flirt and not feel like a pedaphile.
In spite of me finding Jonathon attractive, I really had no interest in him whatsoever. All the other single boys around my age at Kesler's were in love with me, so I made it a goal to make Jonathon become another one of those guys. At first I couldn't speak to him (I am a shy girl), and he definitely didn't speak to me! But then I started teasing him about buying burritos every day for lunch. He got a little defensive. I don't think he knew how to handle such an attractive girl flirting with him. Because I saw he was a little uncomfortable around me, I made it a goal to become better acquainted with him by teasing him more. It was fun! And I was in no search for a husband, so there were no worries there.
One day, I saw Jonathon stalking shelves above the open ice cream cooler. He was standing on a crate and the mischievous part of me had a great urge to gently kick the crate in order to startle him. Well, I got a little too excited, and instead of a nice gentle love tap, I kicked that crate hard out from under him! He almost went flying. He was so shocked, he proceeded to tell everyone, for the rest of the day, how I tried to kill him. That was the day Jonathon fell for me...literally.
A couple of weeks later, Jonathon & I were scheduled for the same lunch break. Neither of us ever went home for lunch, so we ended up spending the whole hour in the break room together. I don't think I'd ever had such a personal conversation with someone I knew so little before. We talked about different hardships we were experiencing in life at the moment, and we realized a friend we desperately needed in the other person.
Our friendship progressed, and a couple weeks after that lunch, Jonathon asked me to go to the local production of Pride & Prejudice with him. I accepted. We both walked away wondering what in the world had happened. Eight days later, we went on our first date. We first went to a coworker's wedding reception (an omen, maybe?) and then we went to the play. A mutual acquaintance saw us and apparently thought we were dating, for she proceeded to say "Good choice! Both of you!" with a smile beaming as wide as the Amazon. Needless to say, it was awkward. I wasn't even sure if I really even liked that boy yet!
About 10 minutes before the play ended, Jonathon's arm made its way around the back of my chair. A couple of minutes later, his hand rested on my shoulder. Inside, I started freaking out. A guy hadn't made a move on me in 2 years!! I didn't know what to do. I don't even remember how the play ended because turmoil wreaked havoc in my mind as I tried to decided if I really liked this boy or not. The night ended with Jonathon giving me a real hug. I was fully prepared to receive that awkward newly-returned-missionary pat-pat hug. But again, he surprised me by pulling me close like we'd known each other forever.
And the rest is history. Of course, there are many more stories of how we came to fall in love, etc, ect. But that would just start to drag on and be tedious for everyone else but us. So, we'll fast forward to the proposal.
After BYU got out from school, Jonathon went home to be with family. I still had to stay in Provo for another week to work. I planned to drive home early the Saturday before Christmas and then we would spend a perfect day together. We were going to go ice skating, go out to dinner, and then go to the Idaho Falls temple grounds to look at the lights. I had a pretty good idea that was when he was going to propose. But then my sister-in-law went into an emergency c-section Friday night. My parents rushed down to Provo and Jonathon came with them. We didn't get back to Blackfoot until Saturday evening, so our perfect date was pretty much ruined.
The next day, Sunday, was a pretty busy day. We played games with Jonathon's family that night until about 10:30 or 11 when we decided we needed some alone time. We went over to my house and relaxed in my basement. That was where we first told each other we loved each other during the summer (he told me he loved me two weeks before I told him). We were talking about life and things. Jonathon had the ring in his pocket and decided he didn't want to wait anymore. So, he got down on one knee and proposed. It was really sweet.
And that is that. I am so excited to marry Jonathon! He truly is my best friend and I couldn't ask for a better companion to spend the rest of my life with. As cheesy as it sounds, he completes me in a way I never thought possible. He is my everything, and I love him. Forever.
Let me first preface this by saying that in my post about my brother's wedding last June, I made a vague mention of Jonathon: "Another thing has happened too, but I don't think this blog post is the appropriate way to declare the news." At that time, Jonathon asked me if I was going to write a post about how we met & started dating & yada yada yada. I told him no, that would come at a later time. He asked how much later. I said much, much later. And then it hit him. "Oh. You mean you'll write it if we get engaged?" Precisely. Little did I know that that "later" would be a short six months away. So here you go, Jonathon. Here's our story for the world to know :)
I met Jonathon the end of April, my first week working in the deli at Kesler's. He had been home from his mission approx. 2 weeks. I remember seeing him come into the store & meeting with Mckay. We had a bit a dilemma at that time because another worker unexpectedly quit so we knew Mckay was trying to find someone in a bit of a hurry. Jonathon came out of the meeting with Mckay with a big smile on his face. I had no idea that he had worked at Kesler's before his mission. The only thing I knew was that I thought he was very cute, and I hoped he was an RM, not a premie. I could never tell :)
A couple days later Jonathon started working. Kesler's hired another boy around the same time. I heard through the grapevine that one of them "worked there before his mission." I just had to figure out which one that was, since they both looked like they were 17. Jonathon was that guy, and I was so happy!! I could flirt and not feel like a pedaphile.
In spite of me finding Jonathon attractive, I really had no interest in him whatsoever. All the other single boys around my age at Kesler's were in love with me, so I made it a goal to make Jonathon become another one of those guys. At first I couldn't speak to him (I am a shy girl), and he definitely didn't speak to me! But then I started teasing him about buying burritos every day for lunch. He got a little defensive. I don't think he knew how to handle such an attractive girl flirting with him. Because I saw he was a little uncomfortable around me, I made it a goal to become better acquainted with him by teasing him more. It was fun! And I was in no search for a husband, so there were no worries there.
One day, I saw Jonathon stalking shelves above the open ice cream cooler. He was standing on a crate and the mischievous part of me had a great urge to gently kick the crate in order to startle him. Well, I got a little too excited, and instead of a nice gentle love tap, I kicked that crate hard out from under him! He almost went flying. He was so shocked, he proceeded to tell everyone, for the rest of the day, how I tried to kill him. That was the day Jonathon fell for me...literally.
A couple of weeks later, Jonathon & I were scheduled for the same lunch break. Neither of us ever went home for lunch, so we ended up spending the whole hour in the break room together. I don't think I'd ever had such a personal conversation with someone I knew so little before. We talked about different hardships we were experiencing in life at the moment, and we realized a friend we desperately needed in the other person.
Our friendship progressed, and a couple weeks after that lunch, Jonathon asked me to go to the local production of Pride & Prejudice with him. I accepted. We both walked away wondering what in the world had happened. Eight days later, we went on our first date. We first went to a coworker's wedding reception (an omen, maybe?) and then we went to the play. A mutual acquaintance saw us and apparently thought we were dating, for she proceeded to say "Good choice! Both of you!" with a smile beaming as wide as the Amazon. Needless to say, it was awkward. I wasn't even sure if I really even liked that boy yet!
About 10 minutes before the play ended, Jonathon's arm made its way around the back of my chair. A couple of minutes later, his hand rested on my shoulder. Inside, I started freaking out. A guy hadn't made a move on me in 2 years!! I didn't know what to do. I don't even remember how the play ended because turmoil wreaked havoc in my mind as I tried to decided if I really liked this boy or not. The night ended with Jonathon giving me a real hug. I was fully prepared to receive that awkward newly-returned-missionary pat-pat hug. But again, he surprised me by pulling me close like we'd known each other forever.
And the rest is history. Of course, there are many more stories of how we came to fall in love, etc, ect. But that would just start to drag on and be tedious for everyone else but us. So, we'll fast forward to the proposal.
After BYU got out from school, Jonathon went home to be with family. I still had to stay in Provo for another week to work. I planned to drive home early the Saturday before Christmas and then we would spend a perfect day together. We were going to go ice skating, go out to dinner, and then go to the Idaho Falls temple grounds to look at the lights. I had a pretty good idea that was when he was going to propose. But then my sister-in-law went into an emergency c-section Friday night. My parents rushed down to Provo and Jonathon came with them. We didn't get back to Blackfoot until Saturday evening, so our perfect date was pretty much ruined.
The next day, Sunday, was a pretty busy day. We played games with Jonathon's family that night until about 10:30 or 11 when we decided we needed some alone time. We went over to my house and relaxed in my basement. That was where we first told each other we loved each other during the summer (he told me he loved me two weeks before I told him). We were talking about life and things. Jonathon had the ring in his pocket and decided he didn't want to wait anymore. So, he got down on one knee and proposed. It was really sweet.
And that is that. I am so excited to marry Jonathon! He truly is my best friend and I couldn't ask for a better companion to spend the rest of my life with. As cheesy as it sounds, he completes me in a way I never thought possible. He is my everything, and I love him. Forever.
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