Right Guys Finish First

It's time again for another dating post. Yay! And this time, absolutely nothing is going on in my life concerning the opposite sex, so this has nothing to do with current experiences. In case you didn't know, all of my dating posts are preceded by something that I read. These thoughts result from Izzy's blog.

Allison addressed The Friend Zone (which was also a response to Izzy's post). To view it, click here. My choice of topic is the adage "Nice guys finish last."

Izzy wrote: "Speaking of movies, what's with the movies? Everybody wants their life to work like the movies. All the girls want the guy who buys them chocolate and flowers for no reason, or who surprises them with some extravagant date. But you know what happens when a guy does that in real life? The girl kicks them square in the baby maker. Not literally, but figuratively. Nice guys finish last, it's just a proven fact. No girl wants to be seen with a sentimental girly man. It's just life."

Nice guys do not finish last. Emotional guys finish last. Girls have enough crazy emotions going on in them all the time. They don't need to deal with guys sentimental-baby feelings as well. What really turns me off to a guy is when he is down on himself and thinks he's worth nothing. Hello! That's the girl's job. No matter how wonderful a girl is, no matter who she is or what she's done, she is still very insecure in the idea that someone could love her and support her. She needs reassurance and she needs stability. She DOES NOT need to be giving the guy constant assurance. She can't be the anchor in the relationship. He needs to be it! When he's not, it's almost as if he's clingy, and clingy guys are very unattractive. We can't be smothered in love all the time but we also can't be the ones constantly building you up. Confidence is hot.

This brings me to my next point. Girls like romantic actions when they are done appropriately, by the right person. If you take me out on a first date and give me flowers and tell me I look beautiful, I WILL BE FREAKED OUT!!! That is not being nice. That is being creepy. That is almost like saying, "Hey, I'm desperate, so I'm going to try and buy your love (or attention) any way I can, whether it be flowers or compliments or anything you want." However, IF we have been dating for a bit, and you know what I like, then it is appropriate to proceed with the correct action. My ex boyfriend (when we were still dating, of course) gave me a Disney Princess Halloween card with a sweet note in it. I was surprised and it was romantic/funny because the Princess thing was a joke between us. It was the perfect gift. However, if you and me have been friends for 2 years and have not dated at all and you tried to pull that on me, I would be freaked. You have to have the appropriate relationship with a person to do those kinds of things.

Let me make the disclaimer that I like chocolates. I like flowers. And I've never been on extravegant dates, but I'm sure I'd like them too :) If you don't believe me, refer back to my Unexpected Crush post. But I don't want them to be from some random person - however nice he might be. I want them to be from someone I care about. And that guy is bound to be nice too, because I like nice people and I want to marry a nice man. The guy I marry will be smart because he will know how to court me properly before he tries those things.

Guys - before you're serious with a girl, doing those sentimental things is like telling a girl you want to buy her. After you've proven yourself to her though, it's showing her how much you care and want to make her happy. Just remember - every girl is different. Different things work for different girls. You just gotta get out there and find out what she likes best. Then, after she has shown that she likes you and wants you (oh baby, oh baby) do those things for her. She will love you! But don't do them constantly or else she won't appreciate them as much. Some girls like surprises, and some girls don't. But every girl appreciates a little extra thought once in a while.

Now, don't you love all these complicated things that go into making a relationship work? And yet, people get married, every day. It's a mystery to me too . . .

The Great and Terrible

I'm reading a series of books right now called "The Great and the Terrible." I'm still on book one, but it currently takes place in the pre-mortal life. Although some parts of it are not at all how I imagined that existence to be, it has given me a lot to think about. I've found I've gained a greater understanding of the War in Heaven, and the great struggles and sufferings we all endured as we battled and saw our dear brothers and sisters battle with the two plans.

As I ponder on the doctrines mentioned in the book, and as I continue my study of those doctrines through prophets' words, I am amazed. I gain glimmers of what I was before I came to earth and what I covenanted to do.

Now, this is some pretty heavy stuff, so please don't get bogged down or let it hold you up. But if you're ready to further explore Foreordination, I highly recommend this talk delivered by Elder Neal A. Maxwell at a BYU devotional in 1978. Wow!

If, however, this is something you are not wanting or ready to explore just yet, please just know one thing: I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I know that Jesus Christ lives and that He died and suffered for every single person so that they could have the opportunity to return to live with Him and our Father in Heaven again. He loves us. He wants us to be the best that we can be. He is there to guide us every step of the way. I love Him and His gospel. I am proud and so incredibly grateful to be a member of His church, sometimes so much that I want to shout it from the rooftops.

I know I am not the best example at times, and if ever I fail you, I am sorry. But I am firm in my testimony of the gospel, and knowing my potential before I came earth is a strength in helping me become the person I need to be when I return to my Father again.

I pray when discouragement and disappointment come to you, you can turn to the Savior and know that He will never fail you. He will help buoy you up to help you become the person you are meant to be.

I love you all and pray for your continual success and happiness! God bless :)

Surprise!

I chopped my hair...

 

and I'm not a huge fan.

I donated my long, luscious hair to Locks of Love. 10 inches! It was for a very good cause and that's one more thing I have checked off my bucket list, but I would have preferred to take off only about 5 inches. Oh well. I got impatient and couldn't wait for it to grow any longer, so this is what I got.

Everyone tells me it's cute. But I don't care. I feel like I'm about 5 years older now. What happened to my 21-year-old youth? I feel like a mother with 3 kids.

The top picture is how I prefer to style it. It's a little more straight and makes it look a bit longer. However, my mother insists I do my hair like this:

I feel like it looks like a wig.

So...cast your vote!

(this is me pleading, Please hair, grow out soon!!!)