Reflection

Look at me,
You may think you see
Who I really am,
But you'll never know me.

Everyday,
It's as if I play
A part.

Who is that girl I see?
Staring straight,
Back at me.
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?

Ok, I'm just kidding. This post isn't really about Mulan's "Reflection". However, I was reflecting and reminiscing about the past earlier today. I was going through a lot of my friends' blogs and other such stuff, and man I can't believe how much has changed! Most of my high school friends are married, and more than half of them have babies on the way!!! It's CRAZY!

Now, I'm not wishing I was married. I love that I am getting my education. It's what I've always dreamed of doing and told myself I was going to do. I also am not looking my nose down on those friends who have taken a different path and have chosen to start a family. Certain paths are right for certain people. I just can't believe life has changed this much only 2 years after high school. It blows my mind!

To each of those friends who have started in the family way of life, I just want to say that I am very happy and excited for the new adventures they will be facing in life. I guess Father in Heaven knows I'm not quite ready to face those adventures just yet :) (which I am 100% ok about).

For myself, I want to say that I am very pleased with the things I have accomplished in the past two years. I am planning a trip to Europe next year (hopefully!), I will be finished with school in 1 1/2 years and then off to graduate school--which I am very nervous but excited for, and I have made many, many new friends/kindred spirits along the way.

Here are some pictures of the crazy fun times I've had and the people I couldn't live without right now in my life (apart from my family):

Reinacting Lion King

I'm trying to pull off the 'Kelly Kapowski' look from "Saved by the Bell"

Some of my most favorite people in the world!

AND.....some MORE of my favorite people in the world....... 

(pssst....this was my most favorite group.....EVER!  But don't tell.....)

This past year at Kensington Manor has been the funnest year of my life, and I wouldn't trade it for anything! I'm excited to go out and make more memories this coming semester...with both old AND new peeps! :D 

Closet Drinker

Yesterday was the ward boating activity for the BYU-Idaho 12th. We went to Island Park and had an AWESOME time! We ate lots of food, went tubing, rode on tandem bikes, and got lots of sun :) While I was there, I had some interesting conversations with the men in my bishopric...

Brother Kerbs said to me, "Man Kandace, it doesn't matter how much sun you get, you're just WHITE, aren't you?!" I said, "Thank you!" He was like, "I bet when you go the the Pearly Gates, there will be no questions asked because you'll fit right in!" AND THEN in ward council today, he brought up how white I was to everyone again, and how the most I could probably get is just a little pink. All I have to say is it's a good thing I am accepting of my smooth, creamy complexion--with not a lick of tanness on it!--or else I would be in for some real self-esteem issues.

Brother Brown told me how his opinion of me has changed. He used to think I was this nice, sweet, quiet "delicate rose" who would play the organ every week. Then at one of our activities this semester, I was one of the first ones to jump into an ice cold lake, and his opinion of me forever changed. No longer was I that delicate rose anymore.

My conversation with Bishop Forbush was probably my favorite. He said I was half-Mexican. Now, the story behind this was that at FHE at the beginning of the semester, I told him my middle name was Guadalupe. He was wondering how I got that for a middle name, so I told him that when my dad farmed potatoes, there was this lady who would bring lunch to her husband everyday and she would also bring lunch to my father as well. This Mexican lady was older and was like a mother figure to my dad. So, my parents named me after her and bestowed upon me the middle name Guadalupe. Bishop fell for that story, and he was like "Oh, wow that is something." and I said, "You know what else Bishop? I'm just pulling your leg." Ever since, he's been trying to get back at me, but he has not succeeded.

So, he's telling different people in our ward that I'm half-Mexican. The Bishopric also saw these "tatoos" I had on my arms. Krista and I found some ash in the water, so we wrote each other's initials on our arms. Hers had washed mostly off, but mine were still visible. So Bishop was teasing me "Oooh look at those tatoos....yada yada yada." Then this is what kills me. Hahaha. He said, "You're probably a closet drinker too, aren't you?" I said "Yep Bishop. You caught me. I hide my tequila in the toliet tank." He got a real kick out of that one.

Now, this obviously isn't as funny in writing, but to be called a closet drinker by your Bishop? It just cracks me up! He was probably one of the last people on earth I was expecting to say that to me. So, if for nothing else, the boating activity was definately worth it based on those conversations I had with those great men who are over our ward. I am excited to return to the ward in fall and hopefully visit and do ward activities over the 7 week break!

School's Almost Over!

There is a time in every semester when students are just ready to be done. This is that time. It is a week away until finals. Luckily, I only have 3, but I do have projects to finish up and complete. Not exciting. I did Showchoir this semester, which was a lot of fun. I don't have any pictures, but I have a video of "You Can't Stop the Beat" from Hairspray. It was tons of fun and my favorite number to do! I was Tracy, therefore I got a solo :) However, the solo was hard because it was SOOOOO fast and I was supposed to be dancing around while singing it. I could not quite accomplish the feat, so that is why my vocals and dancing were both merely mediocre.

...After many many times of trying to load my video, I just found out it was too big to load :(

Instead, I will post part of a report I did on Gollum. Enjoy! :)

In The Two Towers, Gollum displays a split mind where “the conversations, disagreements and arguments iterated by these two characters [are] good versus evil, victim versus manipulator, self verses self” (Bell). Most people would attribute this behavior as multiple personality disorder, otherwise known as dissociative identity disorder. However, further research proves there may be more than one mental disorder displayed in Gollum’s character.

Gollum is known to have a disorder of thought. Sometimes his speech is incomprehensible and he changes real words (like hobbits) to made-up words in order to fit his vocabulary (like hobbitses). His two sides are constantly going back and forth, and when his “bad” side shows itself, Gollum experiences little remorse or guilt for the bad things he has done in his life. He is also very paranoid about Sauron, believing Sauron is constantly watching him (Bashir). All of these behaviors are similar to behaviors found in schizophrenic patients.

Gollum also has a hard time controlling his actions and thoughts. His thoughts are obsessive, though his actions are not compulsive (Bashir). However, one does not have to display compulsive behavior in order to have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Therefore, Gollum would be a good candidate for OCD as well.

The final disorder Gollum may possess is antisocial personality disorder. Gollum is aggressive, has a violent personality, and is a solitary creature. However, he can be charming and conniving when he wants to be. He led Frodo astray with his cunningness. Many prisoners in jail with antisocial personality disorder have these same attributes.

There are many other possible mental illnesses Gollum may possess. The disorders listed here are just a few to ponder on when considering Gollum’s personality.

The beginning of a new adventure...

Hello those of you who have chosen to read my blog. I doubt there will be few, if any readers. However, that is not the purpose of this. The purpose is to have another form a record keeping in my life. Currently, I keep a journal on LDSjournal.com, which is excellent (and which I haven't written in for a couple months!!!), but I thought this would be a great way to add pictures and videos to go along with certain events, memories, etc.

I feel as though I must explain my blog. I am still in the experimenting stage, so nothing is set yet, but I chose a picture of the Eiffel Tower because that is inspiration to me. I long to travel. I have always longed to travel, and I believe I always will have that longing. Personally, I would have liked to put a picture on from Italy, but the Eiffel Tower was the best picture that was offered.

I wish I had something more exciting to say, but I don't. This main spurning behind this blog is a reading and writing project for one of my English classes. We have to spend 5-10 hours on a project, and the project I decided to do was to work on my personal history and keep a record of things that have happened over the past 6 years (since my freshman year of high school). I started that, got bored merely writing memories, so I decided to add to the record keeping by making blog. It is making this project a lot more interesting and entertaining. And it counts, because I still am journal keeping, or keeping a record of my life. Wow, I feel like that was just a bunch of babbling.

Ok. Enough of this first post. I'll post some interesting stuff in the next one...hopefully!