School's been out for a couple of months now, and the adjustment has been interesting, to say the least. I went from diligently being productive 12+ hours a day to having practically zero demands on my daily to-do list and being incredibly lazy. For the first month it was wonderful. But over the past few weeks, I've gotten slightly back to work and have been slowly working on my thesis. All of the preliminary research is almost complete and then I can start working on my prospectus--a plan of my thesis project (which includes an extensive description, annotated bibliography, and reading list) that must be approved by my thesis committee in order to receive funding for next Winter. I have a pretty good idea of what I'm going to write, so I'm not too worried about it and I hope to have the bulk of it done before we head to England. Then when we get back, I can start writing my thesis.
However, this post isn't about me and my life. It's about YOU. Ok, not really. But it is about two pet peeves of mine that have developed and ripened over the course of the past two months, due in part to the idleness of my mind and the lack of more important matters.
The first concerns our trip to England. I am super ecstatic about this trip, and when I tell other people about the trip, they are super excited about the trip too. But then they proceed to tell me how to plan my trip. "You should go to Scotland, it's just right there!" "You should take a day trip to Paris and snap a picture of the Eiffel Tower." "You have to go to..." Now, let's get two things straight: 1) I started planning England over a year ago. I have always dreamed of going to England, and suffice it to say that when I finish going on one vacation, I start planning the next. Soon after Jonathon and I got home from Hawaii, I started planning England. 2) I am getting my Master's in English emphasizing in British Literature. Ever heard of Shakespeare, Jane Austen, the Brontë sisters? Well, I have heard all about their lives, homes, travels, etc. from all my professors, and I have also learned that visiting those places brings greater understanding to the works we study.
Now, planning a vacation is no easy feat, but planning a trip almost two weeks long in a foreign country is especially a lot of work. Before we ever bought the plane tickets, I figured out all the places we wanted to see and calculated how much time we'd need for each attraction and city. I planned a rough itinerary determining the time and cost of everything way before the dates were finalized. So, the advice to go see and do different things I find just slightly annoying. Scotland is relatively close to England, but it still is a 7 hour drive from London to Edinburgh. That means it takes practically a whole day to travel to Scotland and a whole day to get back. Being the poor college students that we are, we don't have the time or the means to travel to a different country just because it's "relatively"close. It's really not right there. Believe me, we've already thought about all our options. And spending $300 on a 4 hour round-trip train ride (2 hours each way) to Paris just so we can take a picture of the Eiffel Tower really quick before we have to go back to London is completely ridiculous! If we're going to go to Paris, we're going to do it right by immersing ourselves in the Parisian culture, exploring the Louvre, visiting the Notre Dame, and seeing the other sights. We're not going to take a cheap shot of Paris just to say we've been there.
So, I guess what I'm trying to say is we're adults, and other people who plan trips are adults too. Adults know where they want to go and what they want to do when they are on vacation. They know their budget and their interests. I ask you, please don't offer your advice unless it is asked for, because if it's not, people don't want it. Believe me. These kinds of decisions are not made lightly.
The second pet peeve of mine comes from the world of Facebooking. Since I've had so much time on my hands, I've read a lot more posts. And what I've noticed is quite a few people who complain ALL THE FREAKING TIME. You know what? No one cares! I know that may be harsh to say, but the fact of the matter is, we all have things we are struggling with.
I understand there are times when we are really frustrated or sad or upset, and posting on Facebook helps to alleviate the stress. But when that's most or all of what I see from you, it starts to get incredibly annoying. People don't like negative people (which makes this post ironic, because it isn't exactly a cup of tea). So every time I see a negative post from you, my respect for you goes down. My desire to be around you lessens. And I don't like that because I like being friends with everybody! But you have to realize that your posts don't just affect you. They affect other people too.
I am much more sympathetic to the person who's experiencing something life-altering, like a divorce, than the person who's frustrated with a college course or their baby throwing up three times in one day. Most of the complaining posts I see on Facebook are a result of that person's choices. If your course load is too heavy, suck it up and deal with it. If your husband is gone for two weeks, call your mom/sisters and get over it. Stop dragging others down because you made a bad decision or you're having a moment of feeling sorry for yourself. Instead of being so negative, be positive! Believe me, you're not the only one with trials, disappointment, discouragements, heartbreaks, and stresses. I've experienced my fair share of those over the last couple of months as well, but I'm not going to air it all over Facebook, because it doesn't do anybody else any good. Instead of focusing only on yourself, focus on others and being a light for them. You never know who's day you'll make better because you said something uplifting. And I also will want to be around you and follow your posts instead of avoiding and blocking you. Cause let's be real, my approval is what really counts ;)
You can take or leave what I've said concerning these points, but hopefully you can see where I'm coming from and be more mindful of what you say to other people (via Facebook or face-to-face).
